Book-Page Wreath! My First Tutorial!

So, I have been seeing all of these book-page and sheet music wreaths floating around the intarwebs. So, being the enterprising lady I am, I decided to make my own. For FREE. I love free things. ESPECIALLY crafty free things!

You will need:

Glue gun

Old book you have dismantled

Something to glue the pages on

That's it!

Here we go! 

First, I needed something sorta sturdy to glue the pages to. So, I found an old folder in my drawer and drew a circle using a plate and then another circle inside of the big circle using a cup.

 

Please excuse my carpets. *ahem* And my Tigger plate...haha!

Next, cut out your circles!

 

And watch Netflix. And excuse my creepy midget hand. Multi-tasking is a gift...I'm blessed.

Dismantle your book! I just ripped off the back and started ripping out pages. This will be satisfying should you have some frustrations you need to get out.

 

Yikes my craft area is messy. Don't be like me...

Start rolling! The first few can be a little tricky until you get the shape you want. However, I found that a variety of sizes and lengths added some whimsy to the wreath.

 

Easy peasy. Creepy midget hand.

Next, add a wee drop of hot glue. And don't burn yourself....like me...*ahem*

Don't ya just lurve hot glue? Oh I know I do.

And my glue-gun...

 

I've named her Blue-Bell. Don't judge me...see: Glue Gun Obsession

They should look kinda like this:

 

I swear, this is the last you'll see of my creepy midget hand.

Just keep rolling up your pages until you can't stand it anymore. Then do some more. And then...start gluing!

 

 I started out a little bit away from the center. I wanted to do two layers to give it some depth.

In order to satisfy my OCD, I placed a candle-holder E gave me in the center so I would have a neat circle in the middle.

 

Ingenious, I say! Thanks, honey!

Just keep gluing and gluing and burning gluing.

 

Almost done!

And finally....

 

Wha-la!

String that baby up with some ribbon and hang her up! This won't be the final place for this wreath. I'm not sure where I'm going to put it, but I wanted to show how it looked up on the wall.

I am in looooooove with this wreath.

And not just 'cause it was free....

Hope you try it!

-A

Recent Crafties!

Hello there! Just a short blog to update on some projects I have finished lately.

 

The Apothecary Jars! FINALLY finished. 

These were quite an amazing job. It took me a while to finish them the way I wanted them. However, I think that they have turned out really really well. And I'm pleased with them, so n'yah! 

 

I've been seeing all of these adorable moss letters floating around so I decided to make one for myself! Suuuuuper easy. And I love the way it turned out!

 

My topiary! I got the two of them finished and I love the butterflies nestled within the happy, yellow flowers. 

 

My almost done mantle. Soon. Soon. 

Anyhow, I think that's about it for now. Imma go back to being a total and complete bum with the E. 

-A

Picture Challenge Catch Up!

Ok, so I TOTALLY failed at doing this daily, so now Imma have to play catch-up. Cause I can. Deal. 

Anyhow, on with the show!!

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

This one was hard. I'm not married and I don't have babies. So, seeing as those two events would most likely be one's favorite memory, I am left a smidge adrift. The memories that I do count as among my favorites, some don't have pictures. But here are two:

 

The day I got my Atticus. He was SUCH a runt. But he's my Boobers.

 

The day I bought my car. That was a really really good day. I was extremely pleased (obviously), haha.

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

Hmm. Oh, I know!!

 

Paula Deen! Oh, to be her just for ONE. DAY. And have that kind of cooking prowess. Oh gracious.

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item

This one is easy.

This is the ring my mom gave me the day I graduated. I've had it for 10 years. It is the only piece of jewelry I have never ever lost. It's nothing fancy but it's totally me. It's a moonstone and silver. And one day, I will give it to my daughter, should I ever procreate. :)

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh

 

Hahahaha. C'mon...that's funny.  

I do believe that's all I've got for today. 

Happy Thursday!

-A

Swimming

My favorite Florence and the Machine song. For you:

Your songs remind me of swimming
Which I forgot when I started to sink
Drank further away from the shore
And deeper into the drink

Sat on the bottom of the ocean,
A stern and stubborn rock
Cause your songs remind me of swimming,
But somehow I forgot

I was sinking, but now I'm sunk
And I was drinking, and now I'm drunk
Your songs remind me of swimming
But somehow I forgot

I tried to remember the chorus
I can't remember the verse
Cause that song that sent me swimming
Is now the life jacket that burst

Rotting like a wreck on the ocean floor
Sinking like a siren that can't swim anymore
Your songs remind me of swimming
But I can't swim any more

Pull me out the water, cold and blue
I open my eyes and I see that it's you

So I dive straight back in the ocean
So I dive straight back in the ocean

Take a deep breath, suck the water in my chest
Take a deep breath, suck the water in my chest
And cross my fingers, and hope for the best

Then all of a sudden, I heard a note
It started in my chest and ended in my throat
Then I realized, then I realized, then I realized
I was swimming,
Yes, I was swimming
And now I'm swimming
Yes, I am swimming

Your songs remind me of swimming
Which I forgot when I started to sink
Your songs remind me of swimming
Which I forgot when I started to sink
Oh, your songs remind me of swimming
Which I forgot when I started . . .
Your songs remind me of swimming
Which I forgot when I started . . .
to sink.

Go listen to it. Now. 

-A

They Were Clouds in My Coffee...

Hello bloggy friends! A WEEK and I have posted nothing. I have been neglecting you!

That's ok.

A few quick updates:

1. Apothecary Jars are still in progress. I have learned several things from this experience.

• When it says "unfinished wood"...it lies. 
• Sanding down said "unfinished wood" is a must. 
• Priming is also a must.

As you may have gathered from the above-list, things got a wee bit scary there for a minute with my spraypainting. But, lesson learned. It's all a learning experience. Knowledge is powah...or so they say.

2. I made the most adorable topiary. I will post pictures of it once the other one is completed. I uh...didn't buy enough flowers for two balls so uhm...only one got done. Again! Learning experience!

3. I got some phat lootz from my cousin's garage sale. For FREE. Because she's awesome. In case you didn't know. I have plans for the loot. Oh yes I do.

Let's see. Anything else? Oh! I'm getting a roommate! And before any of yous gets all smart-alecky, it's a HUMAN. Yeah - no more cats. Anyhow, my lovely friend Teline will be moving in sometime this month. So that should be, in her words, a criminal amount of fun.

Or so much nerdiness in one space that the apartment implodes from the sheer magnitude of the dork.

Either way! It shall be good. E is most pleased. He thinks I'm alone too much. He may be right. Hmm. Is it bad when you have conversations with your cats?

Anyhow! That's all for now! Apothecary jars should be finished within the week. I have to go buy the finials and some burlap and that should be it. Oh...and the flowers. Cause uhm...right now my other topiary is bald and sad. It'll probably need therapy after this is all said and done.

-A

I know a Few Things

1. I should not be left alone with white wine.

2. I should not be left alone with wine glasses.

3. I should not be left alone with a Mac.

Why?

Because these are the results:

 

Me looking forlornly at my empty glass.  I sort of resemble a monkey. 

I think that's about it for tonight. I have, however, commenced the Apothecary Jar Project. It will go in several stages. I have this so far: 

 

The supplies!

 

Gorilla Glue!

 

Gotta make sure the Gorilla Glue sticks! That would be my Business Law and my Paralegal Today college books. Haha. Finally! I have found a use for those suckers!

 

These are part of an upcoming project. $1.00 at Michaels! I was excited. It shall include butterflies, spray paint and hot glue!

 

Gypsy decided to destroy help.

 

Atticus was much more helpful. 

I will upload more pictures once the project comes to fruition. Should it yield successful results, more apothecary jars are in my very near future! 

Happy Tuesday!

-A

I Didn't Say it was Kraft. It's more like Velveeta...

Recently, I made this lovely recipe from my BFF, the Pioneer Woman.

 

(please note: this picture is NOT mine.)

 Heaven

I made this delectable dish for Valentines Day for my wonderful, tall, dark, and handsome boyfriend. After reading the recipe, it seemed simple enough. Four cheeses, some cream and pasta. I could totally conquer that, no problem. So, the day before Valentines, I visited my local grocery store to gather up my ingredients. I also planned to make PW's Rosemary Rolls. Because they are that good. Rosemary Rolls. Try them. Your taste-buds will thank you later.

I remember standing in the gourmet cheese section, perusing my options. Now, I haven't got a creative culinary thought in my brain so I HAD to get the EXACT cheeses PW used. Anyhow, I'm standing there looking for the Fontina, the goat cheese, the Romano and the Parmesan and I must have looked confused. The cheese-lady (I have no other name to call her, I apologize if you are a cheese-lady and that is not your official title) came over to assist me by pointing out the different cheeses. I was deeply in her debt. Otherwise I would have stood there for who knows how long with that befuddled expression on my face. I started grabbing my loot and looking at the prices. 

Oh. Em. Gee. 

$9 for a teeny thing of CHEESE?! The cheap part of my brain revolted against such an exorbitant expenditure. But, the heart won out over the brain, as I knew my lovely, perfect, sainted boyfriend would appreciate the effort that went into this culinary delight I was making for him. So after I had made peace with the cheese, I gathered up my other ingredients and headed home.

The next day was spent cleaning the apartment, because it had to look perfect for this romantic dinner I was creating. After everything was clean, I proceeded to prepare my ingredients. I took the rolls out to thaw and the goat cheese out to soften. 

I was prepared. 

I took a shower and got all spiffed up and made sure my timeline was right on track, which it was. I am nothing if not punctual, friends. I knew it would take about 30 minutes to make this meal come together so I had it so my sweet, thoughtful, gorgeous boyfriend would call me when he was at least that far out. I started first the Rosemary Rolls and I knew I had to melt some butter in a skillet (I had no microwave at this point). So once the butter was melted, I took the skillet off of the burner and proceeded to prep the rolls. 

Now, at this point, I'm sure you are all wondering what the point of this little side story is. I have one, I assure you. I left the burner on "Warm" so I could keep the butter melted until the rolls were done. However...somehow the box of angel hair pasta that was waiting to be cooked got pushed onto said burner. And I didn't notice. At least, I didn't notice until I started smelling something funny. I turned around and saw the box on the burner and my little world took a tumble for a moment. I may have had a slight panicked moment wherein I thought I had ruined this dinner and I may have had a slight urge to throw $9.00 cheese at a wall.

However, once I collected myself and looked at the slightly charred box of pasta (which was a site to behold), I thought that perhaps this could be salvaged. I dumped out the pasta onto the counter and started to painstakingly remove the burned pieces of pasta. 

Now, have any of you lovelies ever had to pick out, one by one, pieces of angel hair pasta? No, I didn't suppose you had. Because, let me tell you something - it ain't fun. However, after 15 minutes of this slow and painful process, I had still had plenty of pasta left to make my dish. Thank God. 

Crisis averted. I started the water boiling and started to grate the cheese. I would love to tell you that I am a masterful cheese-grater. However, that is not the case. I had never grated cheese before IN MY LIFE. So there I was, in my kitchen, trying to figure out the most efficient way to grate cheese without it going all over the place. It was just sad. And hard on the arm. However, once I got into a rhythm, the process started going much quicker.

Until I got to the goat cheese.

If you're thinking that I started to try and grate softened goat cheese...you would be correct in that assumption. I got about halfway down the grater when I realized that this just was not going to work. So, I just crumbled it up and hoped I was doing it correctly. By this time, my sweet, angelic, masculine boyfriend had phoned, alerting me that he was 30 minutes away. 

I plopped the pasta into the water and started to heat up my cream. The rolls were just about done and I was back on schedule! I re-heated the butter in the skillet, threw some garlic powder in, and rubbed that tasty concoction all over the bowls that the pasta would go in. By the time he arrived, I had the table set, candles lit, wine out and dinner done! I was so proud of myself. The pasta was ready and it smelled so good I wanted to bury my face in it. 

My precious, treasured, light of my life boyfriend was wowed by my gesture as he sat down at the table I so lovingly prepared for him and I started plating my food. I just knew he would love this dish. Deep down to my core I knew he would rave over it. Because he would instinctively know how much effort went into this. He and I are connected that way. I brought out the rolls and the pasta bowls and set them down in front of him. 

He took a big heaping fork-full into his mouth and after a moment of contemplation that man had this to say:

"Wow babe, that's good! Tastes like macaroni and cheese!"

I'm sorry....WHAT?! My mind reeled for a moment as he just equated this gourmet pasta dish with mac & cheese. 

A few days later, I was teasing him about that and I said "You compared my dish to Kraft!! How COULD you??!"

His response: "I didn't say Kraft. I was thinking more like Velveeta...." and then proceeded to laugh himself silly at his own joke. 

Just for comparison:

This

vs.

This...

I think we all know how these two compare....

-A

Re-designing a Mantle

***EDIT***

***When I say yellow - I in NO WAY mean my cousin's adorable yellow kitchen. Her's is an example of yellow done RIGHT.*** That is all. 

So, I have come to realize that my mantle is in serious need of a make-over. Right now it's this cluttered mess with crap strewn all over it.

This is no good. I can't STAND clutter. Something in my OCD brain cringes every time I walk by it. It's also dark wood and the stuff I have on it is all dark as well. It sort of makes the room rather gloomy. Which is sad because the room itself is really bright and airy. I'll post pictures later of what it looks like now. It's depressing.

So, I've come up with a few ideas.

First, I have become OBSESSED with white, ceramic owls. I have no idea why. I'm thinking of ordering these:

Owl Numbah One

Owl Numbah Two

Both of them are so precious! I love the second one's sense of whimsy (see: blog title). She's so cute. The first one looks a bit wiser, and serious (again see: blog title). Anyhow, I thought they would be precious on top of my mantle!

To go with those I have also thought about making some white rose topiary balls. Those are simple enough. Target sells these really cute silver buckets in their dollar spot which I can use for pots. Who doesn't love stuff for a dollar? I know I do. Hello Frugal Frannie!

Yeah...about that.

Anyway. I was also considering buying a very large, wooden letter "A" or "M" and painting it a really fun color, like aqua or yellow to go with my spring theme. Not a school bus yellow, mind you, a very pastel yellow. I feel you must be careful with your yellows or your room can start to look...tacky. I figured adding some color onto the mantle with all of the white would make a cute contrast.

And THEN I thought about having my loverly cousin take me to some thrift stores so I can find a funky mirror for CHEAP and redo it. Do you like how I'm volun-telling you, Kris? Yes, I know you do.

And finally, I thought some cute candle sticks with some colorful candles on them would round the mantle out nicely. 

So yes...that's where my brain is at right now.

-A

Picture Challenge Day Four

A Picture of Your Night.

Well, I would go outside and take a picture of my night but E has my camera for a producing thingie (it's a technical term you non-movie folk wouldn't understand...*ahem*) he's doing tomorrow. So! I will post a picture of one of my favorite nights, in one of my favorite places.

 

This was taken on Christmas night down in St. Augustine. It was my first official date with E.

I will endeavor, someday, to write that story down. I have started to already but it needs some tweaks. Needless to say, it's one of my favorite pictures because it captures the romance of that night. And Gumby. He's sporting a Santa hat down there at the bottom, haha. 

In other news, I had an amazing weekend. I will blog more about it later, as I am quite tired and smidge sunburned. But I will leave you with this picture:

 

It was good times. :)

-A

Picture Challenge Day Three

Hmm. A picture of the cast of my favorite show? Oh! Hah!

Oh I just can't help myself! Love me some NeNe! Gotta love terrible reality TV.  It's my guilty pleasure.

Another guilty pleasure? Rihanna's new song "S&M". Oh dear me, I can't get enough of it.

That's all for now.

Photo Challenge Day Dos!

Day Two! A picture of myself and the person I've been closest with the longest. This one was hard. There are only two people that spring to mind: Lisa and Jane. I have known both of those girls since middle school. They have seen me through thick and thin. So, Imma post a picture of BOTH! Why? Because it's my blog and I'll do what I darn well please.

Yeah, I so did.

 This would be Jane and I. Jane is one of those genuinely good people. Throughout my middle school years and beyond, this girl was my ROCK. I honestly don't know what I would have done had it not been for her kindness and her friendship. We went to different highschools but we always remained friends. Once college started, she and I were always close. I remember riding around in the Cutlass...with the neon lights in it. God we were so cool. Haha! I remember the day she packed out her room to go to Gainesville. One of these days I'll get around to scanning all of those photos I have and sending them to her. She had the craziest hair. I have always admired Jane for the person she is and how driven she was. She put herself through college and got her doctorate in Audiology. I have always wanted to resemble her in some way. While she is incredibly beautiful on the outside, it's what is in her soul that truly makes her beautiful. Anyhow, she lives in Washington State now and I miss her dearly. She will always be one of my dearest friends, no matter how far away she is. 

And this would be Lisa! My god, the crap she and I got into. Like Jane, I have known Lisa since she and I were in Middle School. Lisa and I became best friends in highschool and remained that way throughout college. She was always the one person I could tell anything to and she would never judge me. And I do mean ANYTHING. She and I had matching cars. She got a Saturn, I got a Saturn. She got a Firebird, I got a Firebird. Man I miss those days. When Jay and I broke up the first time, she was right there beside me, forcing me to eat donuts and assuring me that he was indeed a douchebag. That's love right there. A few years ago, she made the choice to become a traveling nurse. At first I was heartbroken that my bestest friend ever was leaving Jacksonville. But after a while, I realized that this was what truly made her happy, and I was glad. She's out in Oregon now, having the time of her life. I miss her intensely. I miss her laughs...and her snorts. I miss my schmoopies. But, I know that if I ever truly need her, she will always be there for me. No matter what. 

The end!

Photo Challenge

Ok, I'm stealing this idea from my cousin. Yes - I am a thief. But that's okay because I think I might be fighting off the mother of all head colds that has been traveling around this dirty fair city of mine. So I'm entitled to pilfer, dangit! 

That being said, here's what you do:

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

Day 04 - A picture of your night

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate

Day 12 - A picture of something you love

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity

Day 19 - A picture and a letter

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change

Day 25 - A picture of your day

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
 

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

I'm probably not going to post everyday...I'm lazy like that. I know, I know. I hear your wails of sadness. 

You'll live. All 2 of you. Haha.

Anyhow, here goes:

1. In the last seven months, I have moved three times. I'm kind of over moving. I think I'm done for now. And I will never ever move myself ever again. Hiring people to do it for you is so much better. Standards, people. Standards. (see? snobbery)

2. Like my cousin, I cannot hold my alcohol. I am a midget so you give me two drinks...of ANYTHING and I am down for the count. At least I'm a cheap date. Lucky E.

3. I grind my teeth really bad at night. It's so bad it wakes my boyfriend up out of a dead sleep and he has to punch nudge me so I'll stop. I have to wear a mouthguard at night but I don't. Because I'm vain that way. 

4. The one thing that terrifies me most on this planet is the idea of my setting foot on a airplane. I have never been in a big airplane. I did, however, go fly in one of those teeny tiny little itty bitty suckers once. Thanks, James! I think that was probably the closest I ever came to death. Or clouds. I was full of mixed emotions on that plane ride. And Zanax. I was full of that too. 

5. Like my cousin, I also tend to speak with a British accent. I have no idea why I do this. Sometimes I will just start pronouncing words in a very un-American and British way. I'll catch myself doing it and pause, pondering why it is that I speak this way. And then I will continue to ramble on as if I'm from across the pond. 

6. I have two cats. Yes, I am writing about my cats. Deal. I wouldn't trade either of them for anything in the world. Well, maybe a very large and expensive diamond or a really large and expensive car. But barring that, nothing could ever separate them from me (hi, I'm Ashley. I become extremely snobbish when I'm sick). However, the little one, Gypsy, has come perilously close to death several times when she has decided that 1:00am is a GREAT time to start rattling the blinds behind my bed thus scaring me out of my wits. I have never beat either of my precious felines, but oh man, on nights like that, I have pondered how well cats and gravity mix....

7. I used to never want kids. They got on my nerves. With the crying and whining and messes. But now...now that I'm older and I get to spend time with tiny ones, I find myself desperately eager to become a mother. I think I'd make a kick-ass mom. 

8. I could eat nothing else but cheese and bread until I die. I'm totally serious. If it wouldn't make me fat, give me horrendous breath, and permanently clog up my intestines (sorry. sick, remember? I can get away with it) I would totally do this. But, unfortunately, my body, breath, and bowels have other foodstuffs in mind when they think of life-long commitments. 

9. I hate doing dishes. I loathe it. Every single second of it. I will do ANYTHING to get out of having to do them. And I do mean anything. You want me to go scrub a toilet? Sure! Take out the trash?? No problem! Mop the floors? Done! But if you want me to stand in front of a sink with dirty dishes, I will whine and balk and try my damnedest to get out of it. I'm not sure why, either. I just hate it. Hate hate hate.

10. I feel so extremely blessed to have the people in my life that I do. I have a wonderful family who makes me feel just a smidge less crazy on a day-to-day basis. Because I fit in with them, you see. I can tell them the crazy thoughts that barrel through my brain and not only do they relate, but they come up with even CRAZIER things that they have been pondering over. I love mi familia. I have a fantastic boyfriend who is constantly making me laugh and who reminds me on a pretty regular basis of how wonderful he thinks I am. A lot of times I look at him cross-eyed because I think he's full of malarkey (woohoo! I used "malarkey" in a sentence! Hah! Yes!.....sorry, blame the germs). And because I honestly and truly cannot believe how lucky I am. My friends make my world a better and brighter place to be. And I love each and every one of them, no matter how far away they may be. 

We'll see how it goes with tomorrow's post. If I'm still amongst the living. Because, as we all know, when Ashley get's a head cold, her throat will close up in her sleep, thereby causing DEATH.

Tah!

-A

Valentines and such

Happy Valentines Day folks! I hope you all had lovely days. Mine was uneventful. On purpose. ;) E and I made the decision to celebrate Valentines Day this weekend instead of today. And this weekend was lovely indeed.

I had been planning what I was going to get E for Valentines practically from day one. He told me his favorite football player of all time was Dick Butkus. Now, not being a football...person, I had a vague idea of who this was. I knew he played for the Bears (E's FAVORITE team) back in the 60s. And that's about it.

So, I did what I do with EVERYTHING I don't know much about...I Googled. Oh yes, I Googled everything I could possibly think of about Dick Butkus. Who he was, what position he played, his life story. You name it - I Googled it.

I kept wracking my brains to figure out how I could parlay this into a gift of some sort. E has tons of jerseys with all different numbers so that was kind of out. I figured since he had a Butkus jersey, another one would be sort of a drop in the bucket. Not that he wouldn't appreciate it, but I just wanted to do something different for him.

Then the light bulb popped on. *ding!* Yes, it "dinged". Don't judge my light bulb.

Anyhoo. I started nosing through E's Bears memorabilia to see if he had any autographs from Mr. Butkus. I couldn't find any in his stash so I started to plan. Oh yes...plan I did. And I Googled. Mreh heh.

Turns out, Mr. Butkus sells autographed pictures on his website. Who knew?! Perfect, I thought. I just needed the right picture. So I started digging through the pictures that were available and then I stumbled across this one:

 

Perfect.

Here he was, holding back the Packers from the goal line. E HATES the Packers. I suppose if you're a Chicago fan, that's kind of a given. Anyhow, given that this season the Bears didn't make it to the Super Bowl and the Packers did, I knew E was bummed out beyond belief. And when I saw this picture, I knew it was perfect. So, I went ahead and ordered it with Dick Butkus' autograph. 

I swear, when E opened this up, it was like a kid at Christmas. He hugged it.

Hugged. It.

It was the cutest thing I have ever seen. Just to see the smile break out over his face when he processed what this actually was was the best part for me. To see his genuine satisfaction at what was sitting his hands was priceless to me. Priceless.

As for me, E did a great job at getting my gift. I told him I wanted office supplies. Lucky for me, he didn't take me at my word. For a while now I have been looking for a cross necklace. I hadn't mentioned this to E or to anyone else for that matter. My faith is of a quieter nature. Always has been. It's something I feel that is between me and my Creator.

Anyhow, he gave me this little red bag and inside was this:

 

The most perfect cross necklace. 

It's something I would have chosen for myself. It's delicate and understated. That's my thing - understated elegance. I have never been one for flashy jewelry and this is just perfect. The fact that he got this on his own, without any suggestion or hint from me was so wonderful. It literally rendered me speechless. I honestly didn't know what to do. I just sat there for a good minute or two, just looking at it. Poor man must have thought I hated it! 

But no. It was perfect.

We spent the rest of the weekend together, running errands, watching movies, and eating really really bad food. I must say, it was the best Valentine's Day I have ever had. Those are the things that mean the most to me. Not the fancy dinners or the expensive gifts. But the time when you can just...be. The times when you do the mundane things and have fun while doing them. Those are what make life romantic, in my opinion. Maybe I'm low maintenance when it comes to things like that, but dangit, they make me happy. 

Not to say E isn't a romantic. He is. Take our first kiss, for example. 

Let me set the scene for you: Christmas Night. Candle light, soft glow of twinkling Christmas lights, St. Augustine historic district, old love songs being sung in the background, more specifically: Etta James - "At Last". Yeah - you just don't get more romantic than that friends. 

*ahem* Anyways.

Like I said, best Valentines ever. Hope you all had a lovely day, weekend, evening....thing. 

Next time - St. Patty's Day wreath! Woohoo!!

-A

Lamentations for a Lost Hiney

Dearest Hiney,

I need you to know that my losing weight had nothing to do with you. Nothing whatsoever. I wanted you to stay. I needed you to stay. But you left me without so much as a "goodbye". All of sudden, one morning, I woke up and you just weren't there anymore. Do you have any idea how much that hurt? How confused and astonished I was to realize you were no longer there? At all?

I miss you.

You were always there, making sure my pants fit correctly. You filled them out in a way nothing else could. And now...now I am left with pants that no longer look right.

They sag.

SAG!

I am suffering from the worst case of noassatall disease known to man. You have left me here to suffer through my genetic curse of having no hiney.  How could you do that to me?

It's gotten so bad I have seriously considered buying something that will boost what little hiney you left me with into something that resembles a booty. Not this flat, no man's land that I now have to call an ass.

Do you see what you have reduced me to?

Well, do you???

I promise, I will do whatever it takes for you to come back, even in some small way. I'll do squats, lunges, kickbacks, ANYTHING. Just say you'll give me a chance to make things right between us.

I never want to be without you again.

Love Always,

Ash

Life is Short

Today we got news that someone we knew was shot and killed yesterday afternoon. He was a good man. There was no sense in the killing, not that there ever is when something like this happens. He was doing yard-work when some crazy man shot him in the head and left him there to die.

When something like this happens, it strikes me very hard. I try my best to make sense of the "why". But sometimes, there just is no "why". I think that's the hardest part for me to accept. This was a good man. He was loved by his community and his family. For him to be struck down in such a senseless, stupid way just leaves me dumbstruck.

It brings into sharp relief how short and precious life can truly be. No matter how invincible we may think we are, life can be brought to a very abrupt halt by some lunatic with a gun. This world has turned into a dangerous place. No matter what kind of neighborhood you live in, no matter what side of town, people are still people. And some of these people are evil, evil people.

So when you get home tonight, make you sure hug your wife/husband/significant other/kids/pets and tell them you love them. Because life is wretchedly short and incredibly, incredibly precious.

-A

Heart Wreath!

So, as mentioned in my last post, I tackled the heart wreath my cousin made.

Here's how I started:

 

That would be Gypsy, trying to helpful. 

I started out with blue, orange, pink, and red felt. Why so many colors, you ask? 

Well, because my thumbs had a death wish, that's why!

So, I cut and I cut and I cut and I cut until I had about 200+ of those lovely little felt circles.

 

Aren't they lovely? Yes..yes they are. 

Yesterday, I went over to my mother's house to make the actual wreaths. 

This has taught me two very valuable lessons:

1. I REALLY need to invest in a thimble. 

2. My thumbs will never ever forgive me. 

Here are the end results:

 

E's Bears wreath! 

 

I added a slight twist on mine. I included pink felt as well as red. I think it turned out nicely.

Now, I'm going to go lose my mind because E and I thought it would be a fabulous idea to host a Super Bowl party. 

Tah!

-A

Crafty!

I am going to make a sheet music wreath!

But, since I'm lazy I'm going to print out my own sheet music and tea-stain the paper. Did I mention I'm cheap as well? Yeah...

We'll see how that goes.

Also, I am in the process of making a Heart Wreath. An idea I totally stole from my darling cousin, Kristina. I have piles and piles of little hand-cut circles of felt. There are well over two hundred of these little suckers. I still can't feel my thumb.

We'll see how that goes.

Updates to follow.

-A

Wherein I Explain My Neurosis...

So, in a previous post I touched on E-Coli. Now, for those of you who know me, you know that I have always been a little bit more than neurotic about strange and rare diseases. I remember when it started. I was watching a Discovery Channel special with my friend Lisa about an outbreak of E-Coli from a brand of juice that, until that point, had refused to be pasteurized. Apparently some deer did it's business on the fruit they used, hence, E-Coli. Kids died. Very tragic.

I'm not sure what it was that clicked in my head, but from that point on, I was CONVINCED I had E-Coli. I just KNEW it. Deep down to my core. Now, mind you, I had absolutely no symptoms whatsoever. But I knew it was there, biding it's time. Waiting for me.

I can't make this stuff up, people. I'm not that creative, I assure you.

So, as time went by, I had truly convinced myself that I had this terrible bacteria in my system, plotting against me. I would get so hysterical I would call up my Sainted mother at 2:00am and bemoan my existence until she assured me that I did NOT have E-Coli.

After awhile, I slowly started to understand that I did not, in fact, have E-Coli. However, whenever I would get sick, I would look up my symptoms on WebMD. Now, are you folks familiar with WebMD? I have nothing against this very informative website, nothing whatsoever. However, should you have the inclination to look up any symptoms you might have, be prepared to see CANCER....and DEATH listed as possible causes for whatever ails you.

Most rational people are able to discern that these two options are more than likely not probable causes of their illness. However, people like me, who have...shall we say...overactive imaginations, tend to jump to the WORST POSSIBLE SCENARIO WHEREIN WE THINK WE WILL DIE.

Hi! Still there??

So, after a few of these episodes where I called my blessed mother, shrieking and crying that I had cancer and was going to die, she informed me that I was no longer allowed to Google my symptoms. Ever. Because, as I have said, the internet will invariably tell you that you are going to DIE. And, as we all know, everything you read on the internet is absolutely true....

This then trickled down into my not being allowed to read side effects on the backs of pill bottles, over the counter medications, etc. Why, do you ask? Well, you guessed it! I would start to fret about having said side-effects.

Someone help me...

Fair warning: the following paragraph will contain way TMI, so skip if you aren't into...fluids...

Anyhow, the one time this system backfired on me was when I had my first UTI (sorry! I told you it was TMI!). You know those lovely little pills you buy over the counter that help with the pain? Well, my mother informed me that I was to buy those and take them immediately. So, being the dutiful daughter I am, I went right out and bought me those little pills.

And I didn't read the side-effects...much to my detriment...

So, as these little pain-killing gems are wont to do, they turned my pee (Sorry!!!) bright BRIGHT orange. I was HORRIFIED. I thought death had finally come for me in the form of highlighter orange pee. I just KNEW it. So, what did I do? Well, I called my blessed, saintly mother and shrieked that I was going to DIE because I had highlighter orange pee. And then that woman had the gall to ask me:

"Well, didn't you read the back of the box that warns this might happen?"

"Uhm...no?"

"Why not?!"

"Because you told me not to!!"

"The one time you actually listen to your mother...yeesh"

The above described events took place about five or six years ago. I'm much better now. However, what I have come to realize is this: my entire FAMILY suffers from this in one form or another. My grandmama was CONVINCED she had cancer. My mother: CANCER. Me: CANCERDEATHE-COLI. So at least I come by my neurosis honestly.

But like I said, I'm much better. I have also realized that all this was precipitating my bout with anxiety, which is a whole different post, haha! Now, I can look at the backs of pill boxes without scaring myself half to death with thoughts of the dire consequences that might happen.

I still can't Google though. I'm sorry, but the internet telling me I'm going to DIE is just one little piece of the pie I could do without.

-A

From One Happy Snapsnot....

One of my favorite quotes from a movie goes something like this:

"You never see the hard days in a photo album... but those are the ones that get you from one happy snapshot to the next."

I love that quote. I think it best describes how relationships work sometimes. Sometimes, things just get messy and you have a crappy day. A day where nothing, absolutely nothing, goes right.

E and I had one of those days a couple of days ago. It was just bad from the get-go. E lost his keys. I think my apartment ate them. He was stranded at the apartment until I got off of work so that I could take him back down to St. Augustine to get his spare. I was tired, cranky, and hormonal. Not a good combination.

By the time I got off work, I was in a horrible mood and E was irritated that his keys had been swallowed by my apartment. Rightfully so. We drove down to St. Augustine and proceeded to look for his spare key for two hours, all the while E getting more and more ticked off at his predicament. By this time, my blood sugar had dropped very low.

See, here's the thing about me. I get low blood sugar sometimes and it causes me to zone out, get really irritable, and lightheaded. So, needless to say, that sprinkled with my already bad mood and a dash of  E's irritation was a recipe for disaster. Things got messy. However, we talked about it understood that this was just a very craptastic day and we moved on.

Anyhow, this little story brings me to my point. Sometimes, things just go wrong and life gets messy. It's what you do with the mess that matters. Like the quote above says "You never see the hard times in a photo album" because you don't. You don't see the times that are rough and the days that are bad. Sometimes you have to acknowledge that things go wrong and move forward. You have to remember what is more important: A crappy day or all of the good days that came before that. Me? I choose to think about the good days. Because those are the ones that really count.

 

That's what it's all about. 

Not the lost car keys. Not the bad moods. Not the low blood sugar. But the times you can be with the person you love and truly enjoy them for who they are, knowing they will be there to make you laugh. 

Even when the hormones are threatening to turn you into a semi-homicidal maniac.

Bless my boyfriend...

-A

The Hormones...They are Bad

Just a nubbin, if you will.

Ladies, do you ever get that surge of hormonal rage, so strong you want to pick up the nearest object and fling it against a wall? I just had one of those!

Every time the phone rings, my immediate response is to pick up the telephone and hurl it! When I listen to people talk, I just want to start banging the receiver against the desk, a-la Sandra Bullock in "Divine Secrets".

But I don't. Because I have to be civilized and not give into the awful hormones that tell me that kind of behavior is totally and completely justified and acceptable.

Oh PMS...how I loathe thee.

Must. Try. To. Be. Nice.

That is all.

-A

He Hears You

This past Sunday, the Pastor at Church gave a sermon that moved me to tears. I felt like he was speaking directly to me. The basic gist of it was this: In your darkest hours, when you go through things that tear your soul to shreds, is when you pray the hardest...and God hears you.

He's right. I really thought about it and I have come to this conclusion: He does listen.

In your darkest hour, when your heart hurts and your soul cries out, He hears you. When you are on your knees, sobbing, begging to be released from the pain you are in, He hears you. When things look so bleak that you think you will never make it out to the other side, He hears you. When you are huddled into a corner, praying that you could just have the strength to leave your own house, He hears you. When you feel like your life is falling down around you in tiny little pieces, He hears you. When you scream out in frustration and rage and anger, He hears you. When life seems like it is literally too much to bear, and you are Atlas with the weight of the world sitting on your small shoulders, He hears you.

I have also come to this conclusion: God will not wave a magic wand and make everything better for you. It just doesn't work that way. Lord knows, I wish it did. However, if it DID work that way, then we would learn nothing and go around making the same mistakes, over and over again. That doesn't make much sense, now does it? It's almost like parenting. Parents, when your child falls down while learning to walk, do you go over every single time and pick them back up? As much as it hurts your heart to make them learn to stand on their own two feet, even though you know it could hurt them or bruise them, you know you have to. Otherwise, they will learn nothing. They will fall down, again and again, and look to you to solve their problem.

Life is not that way. When you make mistakes and fall down, you have to learn to acknowledge why you have fallen down and learn to stand up again, knowing that you will not make that same mistake again. And God sees this. I think He places things in your path so that you will LEARN. He doesn't expect you to be perfect. He knows you're human and you're fallible. He knows you will fall down and you will mess up. But He also knows, like any good parent, that you will be able to get back up, even if you have to ask for His help to do so. And when you do, He will be there, cheering you on. I honestly cannot believe in a God who sits there in constant, angry judgment of us. I believe that all God wants is for us to believe in Him, understand our mistakes, truly seek forgiveness, and try our best to live good lives. He knows that we will sometimes fail in this and He understands. He didn't create us to be drones or robots. He gave us free will for a reason.

I am by no means an expert on God. This is simply what I've come to understand and believe in the course of my life. I'm still learning and I am still falling down and failing miserably sometimes. The Lord knows I've made my fair share of mistakes in my life, some worse than others. They have forced me to take a long, hard look in the mirror and to understand that sometimes, I will not like what I see. And that sometimes, life will be extremely hard. It's what you do with what you have learned that really makes the difference. Should you simply shrug off your mistakes and say "Meh, I'll deal with it later" or "Meh, what does it matter?", then you will have learned nothing and you will never grow as a person. Should you lay your faults at another person's doorstep, then you will only be doing yourself a disservice. If you look at your mistakes and really SEE them, and FEEL them, and humble yourself before them, then that is where change happens. Because unless you truly and deeply understand where you went astray, then nothing will ever change and you will continue on a path that is self-destructive and harmful.

So, that being said, from this point forward, I have made the conscious decision to live my life in a much better way. A way in which, when I look in the mirror each day, I can be happy with what I see. I'll leave you with a line from one of my favorite movies, which pretty much sums this up:

"I think it can be best said...'The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."
"Well, what about the road back? What's that paved with?"
"Humility....:"

For Your Consideration

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s